Good Grief By Natasha J. Rosewood-avbox

Self-Improvement Im fine, my client responded as she sat down in front of me. While she was wearing a brave smile, I could see that her words and baring her teeth in a manufactured grin was a very thin disguise for the pain she was in. I was aware that ten months ago, her relationship had ended and that she still pined for this man. I also knew missing him wasnt the true source of her anguish, just a symptom of a much older and deeper grief. Perhaps it is because I .e from England, where we Brits make a profession of keeping a stiff-upper-lip, that I understand this phenomenon. While it might be admirable to be brave in the face of a crisis, as humans, we also need, at some point, to allow ourselves to feel. And feeling includes pain as well as joy. If we dont let the pain flow through us and out the other side, like a small tumor, that pain will just grow and grow until eventually, it will kill us. Unresolved grief manifests in many different forms. Insanity, cancer, paranoia and depression are extremes. I am witness to so much loss of potential, unfulfilled dreams and sadness because we are crippled by unresolved grief. So you can see how good it is to grieve. But how does one grieve? Unlike the women of the Middle East who, from the TVs in our living rooms, openly howl, their unfettered agony available for the whole world to witness, our culture disdains a public show of emotion. In our goal-oriented, consumer-driven world, we are neither taught nor encouraged to grieve. Just get over it, is a clich for a reason. If we work on the premise that our bodies are physical expressions of our spirit, then that blocked grief will have a physiological impact on our health, much like rotten food stuck in our pipes, the stymied emotions wont allow the good or the bad to get through. What harm that does to us specifically is also not immediately apparent. Years later when we think we have successfully managed to push the pain down far enough so as not to be obvious, it raises its ugly head in the form of physical disease or emotional breakdown. A psychologist friend of mine who deals with clients unfinished business believes that we all have unresolved traumas to .plete. Most of us, however, will also respond with an Im fine, especially men. The male species see themselves as far more invincible, and emotionally tougher, than us women. .ing to a place of understanding, and acceptance is often achieved simply by the person acknowledging their own pain. The perpetrators validation of their acts or just validation by someone of the pain endured allows the sufferer to feel right, and then justified in their less-then-desirable emotions. Even when a neutral witness, like me, identifies what it is that is causing the nebulous feelings of malaise in the person, just naming the pain can create a huge release and healing. So how does one deal with grief. Here is a ten tip process that might start you on your journey to clearing your grief and promoting full emotional health: 1. Draw a line of your life; the left is the beginning working towards the right and your current age. Above the line, mark with a perpendicular line the positive things that happened to you and the year. Below the line, draw a horizontal line downwards indicating the year of any painful experiences, death, and job loss, humiliations, ending of relationships, pets dying, accidents, illness, divorce and the other myriad of things that can happen to us humans. 2. Once you have identified, and acknowledged, the challenges you have had to face, assess how each one affected you. 3. Write a story about each one as it happened to you. 4. Write another story as if it happened to someone else. 5. Write another story as if, on a soul level, you had chosen to have that experience so that you could receive the gift of learning. 6. Write the final story as if it was the funniest thing that had ever happened to anyone. 7. Find someone (who probably had nothing to do with the situation) who you can tell what happened to you. Make sure that they are good listeners and are empathic. You need your pain to be validated and your feelings justified. If you dont have someone you can trust to do this, you may prefer a neutral witness or therapist. 8. Once you have acknowledged your own pain and your pain has been validated by at least one other person, think about how you would feel if that same thing had happened to someone you would care deeply about, perhaps your own child. Feel sorry for yourself, for a while. Cry, be sad, and let the pain be there until its not there any more. 9. If depression persists for longer than your nearest and dearest think is healthy, check in with a trusted and trained therapist. 10. Ask yourself if you were the writer of this movie script, what could have been your motivation in writing this scene into your life. In other words, what were you meant to learn from this experience? 11. Thank the Universe for this gift of learning and the perpetrators for being willing to act out the bad guys, and to be your greatest teachers. Know that this experience was designed purely to remind you of your greatness. 12. Then move forward, in Joy! About the Author: Natasha Rosewood, Seven Keys Productions. Since 1995, when she finally surrendered to her fate as a full-time psychic, Natasha evolved from palm reader to psychic coach, facilitating spiritual healing and psychic development through corporate and private workshops, writing books and columns, and offering private and phone consultations to people around the world. Her mission is to make her work as a psychic coach redundant by training others to listen to, and trust, their own intuition. Article Published On: 相关的主题文章: